Skating. Singing. Dancing. Chess. Swimming. Lawn tennis. Basket ball. My child is excelling in three of these. ‘Wow’!!!!
It’s a status symbol to push the limits to train your children in three to four activities apart from regular school and education.
And it’s a worry for those who aren’t able to match with their neighbours’ or relatives’ or friends’ kids. What a pity!… as this mindset makes (achiever) parents pass oblique comments on others kids and demoralise them.
Well yes, it’s a matter of affordability for many. And, for some it’s about stature. So are we really concerned about our children or it’s just a reputation issue? We have the answer, right?
How many times do we truly engage with our children?
To guide them and show them path is good, but let’s not dictate and make them mere receivers. Let them perceive what’s there for them, what best they can do, and how they can be different?
Their perception about the term ‘inclusiveness’ will help them scale up their persona as a good and intelligent human being. Life skills underscore an all rounder.
As per Wiki definition and explanation, “Life skills are abilities for adaptive and positive behavior that enable humans to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of life. This concept is also termed as psychosocial competency. The subject varies greatly depending on social norms and community expectations but skills that function for well-being and aid individuals to develop into active and productive members of their communities are considered as life skills.”
Life skills can best be taught by the parents. No coach should vouch their proficiency here. Children learn what they observe and grow up with.
For example, their problem solving skill can be taken care by taking their opinion on various matters within the family. It could be a matter of a plumber or an electrician at home or a maid who hasn’t turned up for many days. How a kid can help – does not matter. The important aspect is to put the ball in their court and let them feel their importance in the family.
For creative and original thinking, there can’t be a better place than being amidst nature. Take them to a bird sanctuary, a forest for a walk or to a lush green garden and, let their imagination flow.
Empathising with others and being compassionate is one of the biggest life skills, which helps children become people’s person. This takes care of the communication skills too as without effective communication you can’t pass your message. Two-way communication is foremost; one needs to be a good listener to be aware of/understand the situation around and the other person’s thoughts.
Sharing a recent episode, here. I was travelling with my children in a cab. The cab driver was on his phone throughout. He had almost hit two cars – given his diverted attention. And in one of the two cases, I requested him to say sorry to the other car’s owner (as it was clearly the cab driver’s mistake; he had brushed the latter’s car bumper). But I lost my cool – as my cab driver continued to be on the mobile and started conversing in an abusive language with his friend (on phone). I asked him to hang up that very moment.
Within two minutes I realized that someone had succeeded in inviting anger in me. I had no choice but to cut that conversation with the cab driver.
When the destination neared, I conveyed to him very politely that we need to be inclusive and behave professionally, especially when we are at job, else anyone can complain against him and he would be in trouble, unnecessarily. That very moment, he said, “sorry”. The good part was that he sounded genuine while apologizing!
My kids looked at me squintedly. “Mom, we should not lodge a complaint, now,” said my son.
Hoping the message is being successfully conveyed to all parents. Open to discuss your opinions.
Pallavee is a mother of two and currently a senior communication strategist and PR consultant. She is ex-national features editor, business - The Economic Times and senior education journalist- The Times of India