1. Not verbally but you can tell often from their reaction or looks.
2. Yup. Mostly pity! I do not need pity, how about a little support. Take the time out to learn a little about autism…
3. Underestimate maybe…
4. Yes… It is sad that no one takes out the time to try and understand how their world is.
5. Yes. They do not understand their quirks or behaviours. I find the quarantining easier, so I do not have to continually feel that I have to apologize or explain her (autistic kid) behaviour to them.
6. Yes. Many think that there is some miracle drug that can just cure it. As if we are not trying enough…
7. Yes definitely… even after 10 years.
8. My aunt called my daughter the “R” word (retarded) more than once…. I lost all respect for my aunt and no longer engage with her.
9. Most of my extended family disowned me. They just did not understand the situation. It was easier for them to stay away and/or blame me as they just did not grasp the situation.
10. And then there are those who know everything there is about autism. That really angers me!
11. Not so much with my son (autistic kid) but with me (mother). Like I get to hear “if u whip him” or “he just needs better discipline” and “he just needs a man in his life”… I get past it and try to just smile through it, but it hurts.
12. My grandma still does not understand.
13. Not my family but neighbours and friends do.
14. Sadly yes. Even after I educate them, they say things to my son when I am not present. This angers me. I do not associate with them very much now. They lower my son’s self-esteem. It takes a lot of time and effort to raise it again. So, until they change their attitude, my son and I are going to see them seldom.
15. We have actually NOT been invited to things because of my children (autistic kids).
16. Some of my son’s (autistic kid) cousins never had any patience for/with him…they were not explained by the parents either.
17. When my family does that, we ignore them and do not include them with our family get-togethers. We have more fun without them.
18. Not any more… I cut the toxic out my life.
19. I do not feel that they look down or judge, but in the beginning some of them just did not have a clear understanding of our journey. It is frustrating to have to explain it so many times but regardless of how others feel about it, at the end of the day, it is how you feel about it. We will fight tooth and nail for our babies…even if that means keeping “friends” or other “family members” at a safe distance!
20. No, my family understands, and they love my grandson, and they take out the time to understand him. We are so blessed to have him (autistic kid) in our lives. These children are smart, intelligent, and know what they are doing but some of our beautiful children just have not got to the level to let others know what they want and what they are thinking.
21. My family loves my son and if they did not, they would not be part of my family.
22. My family is super with us… makes us feel very welcomed… and they talk to him not at him.
23. A couple still do. But that is only because they have not understood her (autistic kid). The rest of my family has asked questions and tried to understand her in time. So, it has gotten easier. The biggest thing I try to share is that it is a continuous learning experience for everyone. From the child and parent/parents to friends and family. It takes a little bit of time, tons of patience and open-minded thinking, and endless love regardless how long the journey takes!
Monica (Managing Editor) is the quintessential researcher - she thrives on showcasing overlooked aspects that form the foundation blocks of people, places and issues. She is a social scientist by profession with masters in Economics and loves to travel.