This is one of the toughest situation, parents of children with ASD go though. Browsing through these responses will clarify the gravity of the situation, how inapt we are to handle this, and some silver lining to help us keep going.
1. This is not talked about enough or known about enough, a lot of time because the parent is embarrassed to tell anyone that they are being hit by their own child.
2. I was told by the police that it is actually classified as domestic abuse.
3. When the child is 16 or 18, they can be charged under the law, so it is really important to get help before this happens.
4. Devastating to the family and deeply isolating… Nobody understands what it is like to live with this.
5. I have been left further disabled due to my child attacking me. Every single person I went to told me it was domestic abuse and to call the police. They also stressed that she knew exactly what she was doing. Although I am hurt, it amazes me how uneducated the so called ‘professionals’ are.
6. There are times when I am almost 100% certain, that it is intentional, vindictive, or a means to get her own way.
7. I have also been told that this bad behaviour is a form of trying to communicate their needs…
8. It is heart breaking and I seriously am tired of being blamed for not being a good parent.
9. Why does he come home from school and become so hostile, angry, out of control, aggressive….when never to his teacher or swimming instructor…why always mum or dad?
10. Children often lash out at their parents because they feel safe to show their emotions at home.
11. We know that sensory overload triggers violent behaviour!
12. Things got much worse over the lockdown.
13. We had five months of calm during lockdown. Three weeks in school and it is back in full force.
14. I took my son out of a very sought-after school to home-school. Within 3 months, I was no longer touched and his aggressive behaviour in every way, eventually, faded off.
15. He has no memory of the situation after it happens …and trying to explain why I am upset, shaken or fearful, can send him back into another episode.
16. We have several holes in doors, chunks taken out of the walls where something has been thrown, door frames kicked off and a lot of damaged phones, electrical items, etc…
17. This is what we have been going through for years and it is getting harder and harder. I know it is not his fault and he is struggling too…
18. Absolutely a huge area of need and most professionals are clueless….
19. I still have this and I am an adult now. I don’t know what to do to stop this! I am autistic and I can’t control it!
20. I was told to ring the police who threatened her with prison. But nothing helped!
21. Police are not trained for this! I was treated as a bad parent for many years.
22. Most of these kids are so loving and wonderful, and turn this way when not given appropriate help by the schools. They are bullied by not only other classmates, but also by the teachers and Administrators who do not understand where this is coming from.
23. Often unable to tell you about the day they had and the things they have had to go through… Poor kids, they do not know where to turn, without getting in trouble. Please know that they love you and are trying. Believe me, your child is worth it!
24. It unexpectedly stopped when we found the right school and he had settled in. The meltdowns are still there but there is no violence.
25. My son was violent with me when he was little. I am pleased to say that for us, he found other coping strategies and it stopped…
26. The persons with violent behaviour among ASD, have an awful experience and need to be supported, as do the recipient of the violence.
27. There is no public platform that deals with this.
28. I find the problem is that it is discussed in a ‘hush’ manner by those who are directly affected by this. It is embarrassing and you often feel you will be judged that it is your fault that your child behaves like this.
29. We need family support/behaviour support staff/training to handle such cases. Parents need help. Some countries do not have social service support either.
30. Administration should start planning for supported accommodations.
Monica (Managing Editor) is the quintessential researcher - she thrives on showcasing overlooked aspects that form the foundation blocks of people, places and issues. She is a social scientist by profession with masters in Economics and loves to travel.